My Feelings
by NaturallyHarmony
Summary: Izaya reflects on his feelings for a certain protozoan he met when he was in his younger days. AU, Sick!Izaya mention. Shizaya Shizuo x Izaya Happy ending. OOC


**Summary: Izaya reflects on his feelings for a certain protozoan he met when he was in his younger days.**

**Warnings: Shizaya (Shizuo x Izaya), Fluffy, sweet, OOC and slight AU (Sick!Izaya for a small part). Izaya's Point of View. (POV)**

_**A/N: To be honest. Its 4 am right now, I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly got this spark of idea, I decided to turn my laptop and start typing away. So this was born. This in all honestly goes dedicated to my gf, I won't lie. I got this idea by thinking of her. She's my Shizuo so I decided to write this.**_

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I remember the day I met you, and now that I think about it…I am grateful I did.

The very day we met you had just finished beating the entire football team; naturally this had caught my attention, you seemed so strong, so invincible. Like nothing could ever destroy you or even manage a scratch on you. When I got close to you and saw your face up close, I was captivated, I didn't want to admit it, but you were so handsome for someone so young (even thought you were just a year older than me).

Your messy and short bleached blond hair glowing under the setting sun seemed so silky soft, your beautiful mocha eyes radiated angriness but such gentleness at the same time, your sharp but delicate features, your well build body was beyond astounding, and it was almost impossible to believe you didn't even attend a sports club at all!

Since the day I met you, I had fallen in love at first sight with you but I didn't want to agree with my feelings. When I truly tried to meet you, you said those 4 simple words that started it all.

"_You piss me off"_

Ah, that had hurt badly, like you had grabbed a knife and stabbed it right to my heart only to whisper in a bittersweet low growl that I pissed you off, that you hated me from the beginning while I loved you instead. It's surprising to think, that despite that encounter and how our relationship carried on for so many years, that now… I know those thoughts of you hating me were all wrong. It was the opposite.

But despite all that: despite the pain, the suffering, the teasing, the constant bothering, my taunting, my smirks. You stayed by my side no matter what happened. Yes. You were the only one by my side, my parents constantly rejected me and only cared for my little sisters, my sisters wanted me dead just so they could have a chance to meet your little brother… But you, Shizuo… You…

You were special.

I know you and I had such hard times. All those fights, all the pain we caused each other was unbearable for both of us. That even I didn't want to admit this: But I contemplated suicide so many times, it was too much for me to handle. I had fallen victim to the worst yet most beautiful feeling of them all: Love.

I'm grateful to you, for all the many times you stayed with me, despite the pain I caused you then and now. I know that now is not my best time, I grow weaker by the day it seems… or maybe stronger. I should be stronger by now but it constantly seems to bother me, the worry that your eyes radiate when you see me suffering, the care, all the love you seem to express by just staring at me with such love filled eyes… It was painful for both of us, I know it.

We got through it all, sometimes I still feel the tightening in my chest, but if I call for you, you'll come to my side. You hold me close and pet my hair sweetly, singing the sweetest of melodies till I relax and fall asleep listening to your beautiful heart. Only to wake up every morning to your sweet caring smile and a soft whisper that said _"Good morning sweetheart_". How grateful I am that I have you in my life.

Today was the day, the happiest of my life. You had called out to me after I had come back home from a meeting with Shiki-san. I was tired, but you really wanted to show me something. I tiredly agreed but asked for it to be fast.

"_It's only 20 minutes, we have dinner together, and then you go to sleep, no more my love."_That was your answer to my whining.

Sighing you guided me to the dining room, which to my surprise was strangely decorated in a romantic manner, the table had a white mantle with little flowers all over it, there were candles of all colors: pink, red, blue, yellow. There were two simple plates one of each side for us. What a surprise you had cooked for me!

"_Shizuo… you really didn't have to. You could have ordered something… But I really appreciate it. I really love it when you get to cook for me. Your food is amazing"_I said with a smile on my face, I couldn't deny it. I was really touched!

"_It was no trouble, Izaya, anything for you. Let's eat shall we?"_ he chuckled gently.

We ate slowly, but glancing at each other every now and then. He was smiling and so was I, never have I thought that we would end up together, more or less that he, he wanted to be my boyfriend. He had asked me out a few months back and today was our first year anniversary. Maybe that's why he decided to do this for me. But what was coming next. I didn't expect it.

He stood up and took longer than usual to do the dishes, and then he gently asked me to go the rooftop of our apartment building (We had moved to my big apartment so we could both be comfy in a big place for us). There he pointed at the stars and mentioned how beautiful the night was… but then he… He started telling me his feelings. I knew something was up when he started but I didn't expect what happened next.

"_Izaya, you and I have spent our life together for a year now. Not entirely, but we have been with each other since the very beginning, neither of us being able to live without the other. I'm sure you're my soul mate. I am the happiest when you're with me, the saddest when you're not. I realized I truly can't see me with anyone else, my heart beats for you, for if you leave me it shall die and never beat again… never being able to love anyone again."_ He took my hand sweetly in his and stared deep into my eyes, my face grew redder.

"_S-Shizuo…w-what are you trying to-?"_

"_I have truly learned how to love, and how it is to be loved, despite me being a monster you stayed with me. I truly… can't live without you, I don't want anyone else, and I don't want to lose you ever. So please… Orihara Izaya…"_ You kneeled down in front of me. I knew what was coming now… was he really?

"_S-Shizu-chan… I-Is this…?"_ My eyes filled with tears and a smile crept up my face. Was this really happening?

"_Will you marry me?"_ you looked up at me. Your eyes radiating love, all your feeling poured out as you held out a small box and opened it, revealing a beautiful silver ring with a small ruby in the middle.

"…_S-Shizuo… You idiot…"_ I started crying, I couldn't hold in my happiness, this was really happening!

"_I-Izaya?"_ you looked worried, afraid_. "Y-You don't want to? You don't like the ring? I picked it up because the ruby reminded me off your eyes and-"_

"_Of course I do! I do, I do!"_ I interrupted you as I lunged at you and wrapped my arms around your neck giving you a soft innocent kiss. _"I do… I want to…marry you… you didn't even have to ask…"_

Smiling you gently took my left hand and slid the beautiful ring on my ring finger, after giving me a sweet kiss and smiling at me. We were going to get married definitely.

The day of our wedding was soon scheduled to October 2nd.

Shizuo, you make me the happiest person of the whole world, I know you may never read this all, why did I even bother writing it all as if it was a novel? Only idiot me will know. I happily await the day we get married and get to spend our life together.

I love you, my sweet protozoan. My love for you shall be forever a burning flame that will never die.

Forever Yours,  
Izaya.

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**Final A/N: I'm finally done! It's already 5 am (I need some sleep OTL||) Anyways, I'm sorry for mistakes, silly grammar mistakes and all. I wrote this in just an hour so naturally it sucks 8) I'm also thinking in discontinuing Why won't you? I need ideas on that ;_;**


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